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AC Adult Child
of a Recovering
WE ADMIT WITHOUT BLAMING, WE ARE POWERLESS OVER THE DYSFUNCTIONAL (UNHEALTHY) BEHAVIORS AND MEMORIES FROM CHILDHOOD, AND OUR LIVES ARE UNMANAGEABLE.
This step states the Adult Child is not only powerless over the behaviors and memories brought with him from the past, but also is not capable of managing his own life. The truth is, no one is capable of managing his own life without God.
The following scriptures will show us that without God to manage our lives, and without His healing process, we can never become the whole person He intended.
1 CORINTHIANS 8:2 - The man who thinks he knows something does not yet know as he ought to know.
Are there actions that you grew up believing to be okay, that you now wonder about?
PROVERBS 14:12 - There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death.
What behaviors seemed right at the time, but only ended in your misery and destruction?
EZEKIEL 18:1-4 - The word of the Lord came to me: "What do you people mean by quoting this proverb about the land of Israel: "The fathers eat sour grapes, and the children's teeth are set on edge?" As surely as I live, declares the Sovereign Lord, you will no longer quote this proverb in Israel. For every living soul belongs to me, the father as well as the son - both alike belong to me, the soul who sins is the one who will die."
- What do you think the Lord means when He says, "the soul who sins is the one who will die?
- Who is responsible for the process of recovery?
ISAIAH 43: 25-27 - "I even I, am He who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake, and remembers you sins no more. Review the past for me, let us argue the matter together; state the case for you innocence. Your father sinned; your spokesman rebelled against me."
- Your Heavenly Father forgives your sins and knows about the sins your father and others who have taught you, ( teachers, religious leaders, relatives, etc.) so what is the purpose of reviewing your past?
- What do you need to share about the past?
- Have you ever argued with the Lord? Share your experience.
PSALM 129: 1-4 - They have greatly oppressed me from my youth - let Israel say they have greatly oppressed me from my youth, but they have not gained victory over me. Plowmen have plowed my back and made their furrows long. But the Lord is righteous; he has cut me free from the cords of the wicked.
- In what way were you oppressed in your youth?
- When you realize today what you have endured, how have your former oppressors not gained victory over you?
- Who were the plowmen in your life? How are you dealing with the "Furrows"?
- Why will the Lord cut you free from the cords of the wicked/SIN
ROMANS 7:18-20 - I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, evil I do not want to do - this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.
- What is the good you never seem to be able to do?
- What are you doing that you wish you could stop?
- Because I do things that I do not want to do, and that are wrong proves that I am powerless (in my own strength). How will understanding this powerlessness promote change in my life?
GALATIANS 6:7-8 - Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life.
- What reactions (seeds) to life do you act out (sow) that seem to bring more pain into your life?
- What appropriate actions (good seeds) are you taking to please the Holy Spirit? What do you reap?
- We need to sow good seeds now so we don't keep experiencing all negative things we keep complaining about today. Share your thoughts.
BREAKING THE CYCLE
EXODUS 20:5-6 - You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the Lord your God , am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the fathers to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, but showing love to a thousand generations, of those who love and keep my commandments.
- This Scripture is speaking against the sin of Idolatry. What idols were worshipped in your family of origin? Are there idols you are worshipping today?
- Some of the behaviors we see in ourselves and others seem impossible to change. What behaviors (curses) have been passed down through your family?
- What can you do to break the cycle?
2 CORINTHIANS 1:9-10 - Indeed, in our hearts we felt the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead. He has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will continue to deliver us.
- What are you dealing with from your past that feels likes the sentence of death in your heart?
- What hope can you take in God's deliverance? Are you living in your own power or relying on God?
- What "deadly peril" has God delivered you from?
2 CORINTHIANS 12: 9-10 - But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weakness, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weakness, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
- What weaknesses are you carrying as a result of your upbringing?
- Why can we "delight in our weakness"?
- Whenever we accept and acknowledge the weaknesses, sins, or destructive tendencies in our lives, and turn to God, he will give us strength and help in ways we would have never dreamed possible. Share a time when it was evident that God's power was at work in your weakness.
DEUTERONOMY 30:19-20 - This day I call heaven and earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him. For the Lord is your life, and He will give you many years in the land he swore to give your fathers, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.
- How can seeking a support group possibly be a way to choose life?
- Think of the previous generations in your family. Has the dysfunctional behavior and/or abuse continued to the present? What would you like to see passed on through the your future generations?
THIS STEP ALONG WITH SCRIPTURES, AND QUESTIONS IS FROM THE ALCOHOLICS FOR CHRIST 12- STEP RECOVERY WORKBOOK.
PSALMS 34:18 19 - THE LORD IS CLOSE TO THE BROKENHEARTED, AND SAVES THOSE WHO ARE CRUSHED IN SPIRIT. A RIGHTEOUS MAN MAY HAVE MANY TROUBLES, BUT THE LORD DELIVERS HIM FROM THEM ALL.