"So if the Son sets you free, you are free indeed."  John 8:36






Thoughts for
Family Members
of Alcoholics




Family Members Codependency Questionnaire
Check box if answer is "Yes'

1. My relationships often involve people who need my help or are somehow dependent on me.

2. When I feel I've helped someone, I experience a "high" a sense of success.

3. It is important to be needed.

4. I often find myself  "in the middle," giving advise, counseling others.

5. On several occasions people have become angry when I have tried to help.

6. I seem to know when bad things are about to occur.

7. I spend a lot of time thinking through or replaying scenes, trying to figure out  what I can do to effect desired outcomes.

8. I seem to have difficulty starting and maintaining healthy relationships.

9. It's difficult for me to receive praise or care from others.

10. I do not like to let myself get angry. When I do, I often lose control.

11. It's difficult for me to say "No."

12. It's difficult for me to ask for things that I need. (Work, home, family.)

13. I often over commit my time or over promise myself.

14. It is hard for me to act silly, have fun or relax.

15. If I'm not productive, I feel worthless.

16. It's difficult to believe that someone could truly love me.

17. I am afraid of really allowing myself to love.

18. I am afraid of being abandoned or being alone.

19. Sometimes I think I expect to be hurt.

20. I find it easy to criticize and blame others.

21. I seem to justify or make excuses for others actions when they have hurt me.

22. When I know a relationship is about to end, I will stay in it. I will stay until  I can begin another dependent relationship.

23. It is easy to make me feel guilty and accept blame. I will take responsibility for others.  Somehow things end up being my fault.

24. I am not sure what normal is.

25. I often take a stand in a relationship and then go back on what I said I would do.  It seems as though I get sucked in again and again.

26. My circle of friends seems to have diminished.

27. I am not aware of what I want. I ask others what they want.

28. I tend to be sick a lot. I can't seem to fight off infection.

29. There never seems to be enough time to do things just for me; things I would enjoy doing.

If you have checked "Yes" to 3 or more of these statements, you probably have a problem with codependency.

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